I feel...


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Whenever I heard people talking about them being jealous of someone, I always thought they're exaggerating or that one couldn't possibly be so jealous as to wish something really bad upon somebody else.  Once again, I was wrong.  Jealousy hit me yesterday and it is still around now.  I seriously thought it couldn't be this annoying, but it blocks every rational thought from my brain, even though I actually do know better than to feel this way.  Yet, the "what ifs," the "if only I hads," the "if only I hadn'ts," and, most importantly, the "I am so stupid for feeling thiss" keep circling around me and I don't know what to do with myself.
Walking back and forth in my room didn't help, listening to music didn't help, wishing for the millionth time that I could turn back time "just this once" most notably didn't help...
I guess it's one more instance where one has to concentrate on the "I am so stupid..." part and just hope that it passes by quickly so that one can feel somewhat better


 (or at least pretend to)


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